Threshold of Adulthood

I've been conflicted lately with life. Somehow you get to a point of no return, a point where you have to grow up, face the world and its responsibilities. I hate having to grow up, but it is inevitable.

When I say growing up, I mean the next chapter after graduating from college or a university. My personal conflict about this is to actually get a real job and actually take on this profession I chose.

"Can I really be a professional? Can I be as good as I aspire to be? How much shit am I going to be forced to take from my future boss?". These are all some of many questions I constantly ask myself. Of course, as some of you already must have noticed, I have never worked a real job before, not even part time. That is because I'm daddy's spoiled princess. Believe me, I do not admit that with pride. The world judges me according to that, and think of me as the girl who can't get her hands dirty 'cause it will ruined her nails, or some stupid stereotype like that. It isn't really like that, I'm a tough cookie, and I am really hard on myself when I don't live up to my own expectations, not to mention my father's.

Anyway, after graduation you find yourself in a situation where you have to face reality. You are 20 something, you have just graduated, you have to start working and start being an active part of the system. You have to become an adult, you have to earn money, you have to assume responsibilities such as paying taxes, paying insurance, paying mortgages, paying and paying and paying... Not only that, you have to live up to everyone's expectations apart from your own.

During this threshold of adulthood or even afterwards, you will still be probably wondering "Am I really the person I wanted to be?" or "Have I  really achieved my goals?". I know there are a lot of people who have literal goals in their lives and I know many don't. The ones that don't ask themselves these questions more often than the latter. But even so, people who do have goals can lose sight of them, I personally think most people lose sight of their goals as life goes on.

I'm losing sight of my point... It is damn scary, for me at least, what comes next. To actually stand on my two feet, it is the scariest thing in the world and the one thing I've wanted for a long time... Well there is nothing more to it... Just caring on and facing life.